Italoregio

I was at one of our informative sessions when I met Andre, an Italian guy that is actually living in Mexico City and with whom I start talking about cultural differences.

Andre is married with a girl from Monterrey, so we share a common theme. Andre is actually very young, I think he is about 30 years old, and to be an Italian, I couldn't think he will be married. So I asked directly how he has taken that important decision.

He told me that there were 2 different facts that influenced his decision, first of all his wife has spoken to him and because they had about 3 years going out, she told him that she will not be waiting for him eternally. He told me that I suppose to understand more about that, he didn't understand why the girls in Monterrey decided to get married and not to continue with their professions. As if it was contrary to get married and work. For his wife it should be difficult because she is one of the 10% of her friends that decided to continue working and raising a family. He told me that it was something they had to negotiate before the wedding. I couldn't answer directly, because I have met a lot of professional women that become working moms or working wives, but also I had a lot of friends that decide not to work and be housewives. I think that some of the different customs do not change.

The second situation that influenced his decision, has to do with the economic crisis were Italy is at this moment. He told me that the reception is not making progress among the different industries at his homeland, and is directly affecting the ways the young people is having fun right now. On different times they used to go out to a bar or a restaurant, now they prefer to stay at home and make some pasta, this changes make people settle and that is the reason they choose to get married. I had never thought about this situation, but maybe a crisis should change some type of customs, like getting married.

Before I leave, I ask about the wedding party and he told me they get married at Italy, at a town near Venice. He told me that the celebration was really important to his family, because on the first place they were not the ones that throw the party, as in Mexico the brides family should do it. But because he was transferring to Mexico they negotiate that the wedding should be held at Italy. So the preparations begin and they manage to make an event previous to the wedding day, a meal at a friend's vineyard. They invited 250 close friends, and they consumed 350 wine bottles, but this event prepared the whole event to make friends and ground the conditions to make some Mexican Compadres. The wedding day became a celebration among friends, because they had shared a previous friendship. 

When our 5 minute break ended I had a lot of information to share, so I can give you some recommendations when speaking about deeper issues:

1.- Ask to your new friend, what make him get into the city, region or country. For sure you will get an interesting story.
2.- Make some questions about the change process, in this example it was a wedding, but you may find out some other activities that you may seize to learn more about your new friend.
3.- Genuinely get interested about the information you are getting, make some deep questions and learn about new customs.