Networking with the Toby's Club

A little ago, a reader write to me asking for advise related on how to participate in working teams when your direct boss make the Toby's Club with your peers and you remained "excluded".

First I want to share that some years ago it was a comic book, then a cartoon, called Little Lulu, where her best friend was Toby and he didn't like the girls, ergo he invented a space where he could gather exclusively with boys and he called that space "Toby's Club". Since then in Mexico and probably Latinamerica when the men want to exclude women from an activity, its called that the gentlemen created another Toby's Club.

For this post, this Club is made on a professional context, and my reader it's having some consequences related to this behavior. The benefit is that we don't have to worry a lot, because the lady's are not excluded in the first place and the gentlemen should not leave us behind just like this. The only thing is that you have to learn to relate in a professional way in this job contexts with the opposite sex and probably you will left behind the exclusion feeling.

Next I will share some suggestions to do if you are a woman, and try not to feel out of space, maybe you will be invited to some of their meetings and it will be up to you to choose if you want to go or not:

1.- Be discreet, remember that what happens in work, stays in work. Under any circumstance you share anything you hear from this group. It is possible that you may feel engaged to share to your friends some of the information you hear. Don't do it, you have to earn the group confidence, by showing your discretion abilities among them.

2.- Do not feel bad or get mad if you suddenly hear some conversations or jokes in a higher tone. While the conversation is not directly related to yourself, you can pretend you never hear it. If you want to belong to this group, your peers probably show more confidence if they feel that they can be more themselves if you are not criticizing them with your look or with some comments about their words.

3.- Remember you are a lady and you should not change your core being, behave as a lady. The fact that the men could have or not high tone conversations, will not change neither what you are or who you are. Give yourself the strength to stand in front of the group but considering yourself a lady.

4.- If at some point you feel that belonging to the group will place you at a sexual harassment situation, ask for a change to another department. It will be difficult to change the organizational culture than asking for an internal movement.

5.- Make yourself invaluable, many times being a woman implies to make and organize activities where being a man will be difficult, because we have some born with competences. Capitalize this situation and bring to the group this abilities like event organization or agenda making. This activities are of some use at any job and it will be easier that the women can develop this innovations to the job.

Finally I would like to share a ling to a Daniela's Zarate article to America Economia, where she shares the difficulty that have some women to be considered as important employees at their organizations.

http://www.americaeconomia.com/analisis-opinion/por-que-silicon-valley-sigue-siendo-un-club-de-toby

The advantage is that as the time passes by, more women are considering professional careers, so the inclusion process has to be integrated at all levers. With some certification companies watching, gender quotes and bigger group of women at job positions, the Toby's Club problem, will be decreasing. Don't worry about this situation, you may soon experiment some improvements and find a spot where you can stand out.

A Networking Exercise

The last week, Nayeli Valdés, published on her Facebook Wall an interesting state. So I gave her a like mark and all of a sudden I became a part of a practical virtual joke and a challenge that she send to  me. The exercise needed me to write one of 10 different quotes or questions in my own Facebook Wall and waited for the reactions of my friends.

This assignment made me the happily receiver of different answers, some messages to my cellphone and some phone calls drawing my attention because I was telling a little too much.

The interesting part of this exercise is the amount of people that are willing to collaborate with you at a virtual environment. The question that I publish was: How to you get rid of feet fungus? And I received, links, recipes and house remedies that may or may not work. I have to thank to all the people that take a minute of their times and offer an answer. Also I have to share that I didn't put in practise any advise because I'm not suffering from fungus neither my kids, because they told me to write this disclaimer.

Also I have to share with you that there were some comments that allow people to continue with the joke and tell me to cut off my feet or use some type of muriatic acid. The moment delivered me some laughs and it made me think that sometimes we are more interested in other people lives that are on the web and at some point we are willing to share more on this sites than in person.

A friend of mine, that by the way is a doctor, gave me a complete course of action on what to do and how to behave if I want to get rid of them permanently. Being optimistic, I get a free advise. Another good friend, share a video just to make sure I understand the instructions. 

So my recommendations to make this networking exercise:

1.- Do not take personal the information you share or receive, just have fun.

2.- Review the answers you are offered, some could be good tips, like my doctor friend advise.

3.- If you want to do the same exercise among your virtual friends, just write to me on the blog and I can share the different phrases you could use to have some fun.

Second Anniversary Networking

This week Networking Mindset is celebrating its second anniversary, and I want to thank all the people that take their time to read my opinions and do some comments about the suggestions I place in this space.

I won't make a brief about the blog statistics, because each year in December, the managing page does it for me. Although I want to make some insights about the way the writing objectives could be reached.

Originally the idea about writing this blog started as a "free hands" activity to loosen my writing abilities and reach some readers that weren't from the academic field. As I told you before, or some of you have read it, the last year I finished my PhD degree and I have to improve my writing skills.

Second point was to consider that creating a blog would make me choose a topic to always get in the center of the attention. So the themes I write about should be of my complete knowledge and practise in my every day activities. With this in mind I have not to do an extensive research, just let go my own experience and tell you about it.

Third I have to read other blogs, so I have an idea on what to do with a publishing space, I managed to understand that there were two types of blogs: the ones related to a trademark, for example apple, where the companies publish information related to their activity and use the space to tell the people about the new releases that are making. And the second case, the personal blogs, like mine, where you can write about almost anything only to have other people know about your personal experiences.

So I decided this blog theme, when I realized about the activity I made almost everyday in my personal and professional life. Everything else relates to a personal commitment, interest, and some issues about leaving a legacy for the posterity. Of course I don't know what will happen with this Blog through the years, in the meantime, I have a great time sharing with you my life and getting back your comments.

After this two years telling you about events and networking, I want to thank your comments, your personal messages and your opinions about what I write. Some of you go further and ask me to write about some particular events and the most courageous write in your behalf your own experiences about your personal networking. I hope this experiment will last for some more years, and that we find different ways to achieve a Networking Mindset.

THANK YOU!!!!!

Engagement Networking

I think the posts about tips for dating have a big audience among women. Specially because there are some girls that ask me to publish the and wait that their guys read this lines and apply some of this behaviors.

Following this lines, one of my readers ask me to write about some suggestions for her prince charming, so he can have an idea on how he should ask her to be his wife. Hope that his boyfriend read my opinion, and that my advise is about for some help.

Aspects to consider:

a) The ring delivery, it should be as public or private as you want, but it is important that your girlfriend, if she says yes, will publish it on every social network she has: Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Google+, Whatsapp, Twitter, among others.

b) Considering the currently wedding standards, there are some girls that have waited nearly for 30 years to receive the proposal. They have recreated the moment a thousand times, and of course they are waiting that their boyfriend understands it, so he should put all the attention and imagination that is on his reach to this event.

c) The boyfriend should understand that as for this moment, all the attention will be centered in the bride, the ring delivery, the asking for the hand, the bachelor party, the wedding, the post wedding. So, and even the girl do not clearly say it, she expects to be the most understood Bridezilla in the whole history, and he should understand her. It's until the honey moon when the groom has back some of the attention.

d) It's important that the boyfriend study some aspects related to the ring acquisition. He should know about the type of ring, stone, material and design that her girlfriend will like to have. There are a lot of tests in Internet about them, but my suggestion is that you should ask the girl or talk about it with a professional.

The next link has some tips from Brides magazine that you may read to select the ring:

Como elegir el anillo de compromiso

e) And because we are talking about the ring delivery, you have to know quite well to your girlfriend to understand the type of event she expects to have, something really public, like a stadium, mall, movies or something really private, in the beach, mountain or a restaurant. You should investigate if she like to have her family or friends among her. And of course I will suggest that you ask to her friends and use your common sense.... It hasn't be an expensive event, it should be something she will cherish in her heart forever.

At the end of this post you  may find the most voted engagement proposal for 2015, for sure you will find some more inspiration at the social network.

Tell us, what else you need for her to say yes? We gladly receive your comments